All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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