I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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