just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
