Porn is love you can see.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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