You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
