Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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