i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
