hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
