Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
