I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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