ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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