I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
