they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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