My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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