the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just found puke in my bra..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
