2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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