I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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