Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
