somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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