The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
