ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
