I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
