# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
