I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
wow bdsm is so cute
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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