addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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