If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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