I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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