Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
