if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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