im having a threesome with these popsicles
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
did i just pee glitter
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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