So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
