just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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