I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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