Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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