I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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