So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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