May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
