I'm sorry my penis didn't work
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
