Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
