There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
it hurts more in the daytime
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Are we still banned from the library?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
