i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
