it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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