You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
