There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
