new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
there is puke in my bra ... again
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