Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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