I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
