Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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