I feel great
I just peed on a car
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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