so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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