I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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