I smell stomach acid.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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