Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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