i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
