I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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