I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize