Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
