everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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