Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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