I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
